How to Heal a Lightning Scar
by TheCopyMistress
Summary: "It was supposed to be a simple mission. They had done this a hundred times over. But he was dead, and she was alone." KakaSaku (In Progress) Rated T, has graphic depictions of violence.
1. In Which the Unspeakable Happens

Hi! I'm back after 3 billion years! I'm almost done with college now, and the last fic on my page is from 7th grade, so... You do the math. This story evolved from a prompt about gloves, but it is most definitely not about gloves anymore. A couple AU things: Sasuke is not an asshole, he stayed in the village, and Kakashi never became Hokage because I know he didn't want to. Please enjoy! (Reuploaded AGAIN bc it didn't upload the way I had formatted it... -_-)

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Sakura thought it was her anger making her see red, but when the feeling had faded, her world was still stained.

The splatters on the walls were explosive, and she stared blankly at the crushed corpse in front of her. Her ears hadn't stopped ringing yet, her own screams echoing inside her mind. Unable to hold her weight any longer, her knees buckled and she hit the wooden floors on her hands and knees. Her head hung as she looked down on her splayed fingers digging grooves into the wood, her eyes widening as she took in the slick blood coating the backs of her knuckles, her hands, her wrists.

The black leather of her gloves was shiny, which was odd. They were inside, weren't they? Sakura's head shot skyward and sure enough, there was a full moon lighting up the night sky where the ceiling should have been. Another body that she hadn't noticed before hung on the edge of the roofing, impaled through the stomach on a beam.

She felt herself trembling as she took in the rest of her surroundings more thoroughly: the large bed that cracked down the middle, the floorboards torn up and splintered, two more bodies that lay unmoving on opposite sides of the room. One was unrecognizable, face swollen and chest cavity caved inwards. The other lay the way it had fallen, sideways, curled in vulnerably, blood still pouring out of a gaping wound in his abdomen.

His silver hair that used to stick out in all directions now glued together within the crimson pool forming around his body. The Sharingan eye, with no more chakra to consume, had faded to a black darker than his own natural coal grey eye. Beneath the spandex of his mask, Sakura could see the outline of his lips, still parted from his last labored breaths.

She crawled towards Kakashi's empty body, not even caring as his blood painted her skin and clothes as she sat back on her legs and tenderly brushed the matted locks from his face.

She recalled the countless times he had done the same to her. After a spar, when the shorter strands fell from the ponytail in which she'd tied the rest of her hair, and she'd smile and swear that she'd beat him next time. When he tried talking to her while she fluttered around her lab and he had nothing better to do, mixing this and that to concoct an antidote to Shizune's newest poison, and he'd put one hand on her shoulder and the other to her hair, gentle words easing her ever-growing frustrations. In his bed, or hers, both of them covered in a thin layer of sweat as he buried himself within her, and she had her eyes closed but she still felt the electricity from his fingertips brushing away tangled locks before his lips crashed down on hers.

Sakura closed his eyes with gentle pressure, glancing back and forth from his familiar eye to the black one she'd never seen, searching desperately for the life she knew was long gone. She removed the hitai-ate he had pushed out of the way for the battle, careful to keep it out of the blood that now surrounded both of them. Reaching around, she also took the little orange book she knew was in his hip pouch and put it, along with his hitai-ate in her own pouch. She pushed her ex-sensei out of his loose fetal position so that he lay on his back and took his now cold hands into her own, pulling off his navy blue gloves.

Unlike Sakura, Kakashi wore his gloves even when he wasn't on missions, leaving his palms so much smoother than his calloused fingers. The metal plates were terribly scuffed, but the dyed blue leather had been reliable, soft and pliable from constant use.

As she stared down at him, she felt the knot in her throat tighten painfully and she let out a broken sob. Curling her fist that wasn't gripping Kakashi's gloves into his flak vest, she let the events of the night catch up with her as she cried into his unmoving chest. Her head pounded and her chest ached, and she hated herself more than she ever had before.

It was supposed to be a simple mission. They had done this a hundred times before. But he was dead, and she was alone.

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She didn't know how long she sat there before ANBU had found them. Her crying had long stopped, but she never lifted her head from Kakashi's chest, her hands still holding tightly to whatever pieces of him she could. She didn't even move when the Black Ops shinobi raised their chakra signatures as not to startle her.

"Haruno-san…" one of the ANBU spoke up, a woman by the sound of it.

Sakura didn't respond, no, she couldn't respond. Her throat was too dry and her mind was too numb to even register that someone was speaking to her. A gloved hand placed itself on her shoulder, but she didn't even flinch.

"Sakura, hey," said another voice, male this time. She vaguely recognized it in her reverie, and she lifted her head weakly to see the unmasked face of Uchiha Sasuke looking down concernedly at her as he crouched beside her. This rare display of emotion from her old teammate brought a fresh wave of despair down upon her, reducing her to tears once more. "We have to go home now. Let's bring him home."

 _So weak. How are you still so fucking weak._

It didn't matter how strong she had gotten physically because here she was crumbling all over again. It didn't matter how many lives she could save with her medical jutsu, she had failed the one that had become the most important to her. He had gone so quickly that she didn't even have the chance to try.

The pain she felt now was stronger than any physical wound she had ever received. There was no bleeding to stop, no muscle to ease, no way to ease the crushing pain she felt in her chest. It was so hard for her to concentrate, for she felt lost within herself, disconnected from the outside world and suffocated by her own anguish.

She heard herself screaming as Sasuke coaxed her off of their former sensei's corpse, too distraught to even think about using her chakra to break his hold. She was covered in Kakashi's blood, smearing it on Sasuke's armor as she beat against it with her fists, and all she could think about was much she wished it was her own instead. She heard Sasuke talking to the other shinobi in the room, something about shock, something about her being erratic and irrational at the moment.

The female ANBU and another man gathered Kakashi into a body bag while the other two members of their unit disposed of the other bodies in the room, piling them into the middle with the intent of just setting the whole place on fire. The last thing Sakura remembered before she drifted off, completely drained, was Sasuke picking her up bridal style and continuing to stare at her, his brows furrowing in worry.

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When Sakura reached jounin status two years ago at eighteen, she and Kakashi were paired abnormally often. Naruto and Sasuke had moved on to join ANBU together, and she was left behind yet again. She buried herself into her work at the hospital, her missions, her training, anything to distract herself from her inadequacy.

Tsunade formed a few powerhouse jounin teams after the war to aid ANBU in hunting down the hundreds of missing nin that disapproved of the Great Shinobi Alliance. There were dissenters from every village and the Five Great Villages put out the thickest bingo books to date. The Godaime knew her shinobi well, and paired her best medic with the two jounin that she knew cared the least about their well-being during a mission. And so, Haruno Sakura, Hatake Kakashi, and Shiranui Genma were sent off, bringing back or annihilating this rogue and that one for the sake of the Alliance.

One particular mission had the trio masquerading as a troupe of travelling musicians, and there was something about the look in Kakashi's eyes when she stabbed her flute through a frenzied earth user that made Sakura realize that their relationship had changed.

He was almost impaled himself while he was busy gawking at her, and later, as the pink haired medic healed and berated him, he grabbed her glowing green hands and pulled her into his lap. He then proceeded to yank down his mask and kiss her thoroughly before pulling his mask back up and giving her his signature eye crinkle. She was shocked by the action, then annoyed when she realized she had probably missed the most perfect opportunity ever to see his face.

They kept their evolving relationship under wraps, with Genma, Naruto, and Sasuke as their only confidants. It wasn't always easy, random ninja seeking both of them out at odd hours for missions or hospital emergencies. However, Kakashi and Sakura both knew that it was far more likely that people just didn't say anything. They worked too well together to afford being separated, and as long as they didn't allow the personal to interfere with the professional, no one saw the harm in continuing things the way they were.

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A cacophony of beeping from various machines greeted Sakura as she woke. Every part of her body was heavy as she willed her eyes to open. For a sweet, blissful second, she looked around for a familiar mop of silver. It was rare for her to be hospitalized after a mission, but Kakashi had always made it a point to be there when she awoke, whether she lay there for a day or a week.

"You're exhausted. Just rest." A tired voice came from her right, and she slowly turned her head to take in the image of a disheveled Genma. His senbon was absent from its place between his lips, and his brown locks were sticking up oddly without his bandana to hide it. "He would've killed me if you woke up alone. You've been here for three days."

Three days. He's been dead for three days.

She tried to speak, but she choked on the dryness in her throat. Genma lifted her head gently and brought a cup of cool water to her lips, and she took small sips before pushing the cup away.

"It's ok," she rasped. "You don't have to stay with me." The tokubetsu jounin gave her an empty chuckle in response.

"I'm not just doing this for him. You're my friend too, you know." He ran his hand through his hair wearily and sighed. "I should've been there. I'm so sorry."

"Gods, no, Genma-"

"No, let me apologize. I was careless on our last mission together, it's my fault I couldn't go with you two. I should have been there."

Too tired to argue, Sakura nodded and accepted his apology. She would give him her opinion on that when she didn't feel so heavy. She fell asleep to the steady beat of her heart monitor and Genma's warm hand in her own.

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There you have it! Please review!


	2. A House No Longer a Home

"You need to eat something, Sakura-chan." Naruto held the cup of soup to her lips, but the pinkette could only shake her head weakly as she stared blankly at the wall. A week had passed since she returned home and she could finally sit up in bed. The only machines she was attached to were her heart monitor and an IV drip.

"Sakura, they can't take the IV out unless you eat." Sasuke pushed off the wall he was leaning on to sit in the chair on the opposite side of her bed.

The pair spent every day they were in the village in their former teammate's hospital room, trying to coax her to eat or talk or _do anything_ besides stare into space and ruminate on their sensei's death. Yet every day, their efforts remained futile. Reality had set in, and she no longer wanted to be a part of it.

"Please," the jinchuuriki was pleading with her at this point. "Just a little, and we'll stop bothering you about it." When she failed to respond, he sighed and placed the soup back on her bedside tray before heading to the doorway. Sasuke watched him stalk away, puzzled. Why was he giving up so easily? He had only prodded Sakura for 10 minutes, far less than any other day that week. Naruto paused for a moment before turning around to face her, fury apparent in his usually warm eyes.

"Fine. Die if you want. You two may have not told us much about your relationship or whatever the fuck you two had going on, but Kakashi-sensei would've _hated_ to see you give up!" The mention of his name made Sakura flinch, but the blond just kept tearing into her. "He would've wanted you to live the best life you could, with or without him because he loved you! But you obviously don't love him. You are disrespecting his memory, Sakura-chan. I can't stand to see you like this!" Frustrated tears streamed down his face and his hands curled within the black leather of his ANBU gloves.

"That's enough, Naruto." Sasuke rubbed a similarly gloved hand over his face before fixing his gaze on his teammate. "She doesn't need this right now. Let's just go." He rose from his chair and placed a comforting hand on Sakura's shoulder. "We have a mission, but we'll see you when we get back." And with that, he strode out of the room, pushing his irate partner before him and finally leaving Sakura alone with her thoughts.

Her eyes hadn't left that spot on the wall the whole time they were there, but as she pondered over Naruto's harsh words, she felt the numbness inside give way to grief once again.

 _You're a disappointment. You're weak._

Her small frame trembled as she tried to hold back the sobs in her throat, digging her nails into her palms in an attempt to distract herself from the tightening in her chest. Curling up under the thin blanket, she cried herself herself to sleep.

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Genma came in almost as often as Naruto and Sasuke, sitting by her side and holding her hand, joining her in her silence. Unlike her former team, he didn't pressure her to heal faster, and she appreciated his quiet support as she knit herself back together. They hadn't said a word to each other since Sakura had awoken the first time, both too lost in their own heads.

Still, the senbon user always brought a fresh cup of soup for her, a silent offering for when she was ready. It was another week before she raised her hands towards him in askance, the IV stinging as it shifted in her skin. Genma gave her a small smile as he handed her the cup of clear broth. She took small sips as she savored the warmth seeping into her hands, down her throat. She cleared her throat, catching his attention.

"How did you do it?" Her voice was hardly above a whisper, hoarse from the lack of use over the past two weeks.

"Do what?"

"Live. When she died. How did you live?" She turned her head to look at her remaining teammate, who stared back at her with furrowed brows. She knew she was breaching a sensitive topic, but the question had tumbled out before she had time to think.

"I didn't… For a while." Genma pulled off his bandana to run a hand through his brunet locks. They had grown out recently, the tips brushing his shoulders. "I drowned out the pain with missions, alcohol, women… Anything to distract. I pushed away the living because the love of my life was dead. I took so many S-ranked mission, hoping I would just die so I didn't have to live with myself anymore." His eyes met hers, and Sakura could see the pain still behind them. "Our circumstances were different, Sakura. I lost Kimiko, and there wasn't even a body left for me to grieve over. I can't imagine the pain you're going through, after having seen that, seen _him_ like that… I'm sorry. I can't tell you how to heal, but I can promise that I'll be there for you."

Sakura gave him a sad smile, no words explaining both her sympathy and gratitude. To the rest of the world, the jounin beside her kept up an air of nonchalance and sometimes downright sleaziness. Like most in their profession, it was easier to pretend nothing affected you rather than accept the reality, than think about everyone you had lost and continue to lose. Easier than constantly being asked if you were alright, if you needed to talk. And yes, Sakura had lost others before she lost Kakashi. They had gone through an entire war after all, with no shortage of casualties. She just never fathomed that he would be the one to go first. He was too strong, too clever.

Genma composed himself with a sigh, slipping his bandana back over his head before standing and walking towards the door. He smiled at her over his shoulder before he left. "I'll tell the nurses that you're eating. We can finally get that stupid needle out of you, yeah?"

Sakura huffed softly, which was as much of a laugh as she could muster. "Yeah, that sounds like a plan."

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She always felt the worst when the nurses came in, with their smiles and kind words.

"I'm so glad to see you're feeling better, Sakura-sama!"

"Haruno-san, you're finally starting to look like yourself again!"

"Wow, you're really hungry today, Sakura-sama. Did you want another jello cup?"

A fake smile here, an empty laugh there, honestly, anything to get her out of this hellhole of a bed and away from the overly cheery banter. By the time Tsunade finally rolled around to discharge her, she didn't even have the heart to keep up appearances anymore. She stripped out of her gown and dressed in the fresh clothes Genma had brought her.

"Sakura, look at me please." Tsunade's brows furrowed as she gave her apprentice a thorough look. Her clothes hung loosely from her gaunt frame, the bags under her eyes a deep purple, her hands unsteady as she tugged up the zipper of her qipao. "I'm not going to push you right now. But we're going to have to talk about this eventually."

Sakura sighed heavily, shoulders slumping in exhaustion. "Yes, shishou." With a small bow, she shuffled out of the room, leaving her master alone.

Tsunade wanted to pull her close and hold her and protect her, but that wasn't what Sakura needed right now. She knew first-hand what this feeling was, the emptiness that came after losing _him_ , and there was nothing anyone could do to help her. She had to find her strength again by herself, and coddling her was just going to set her back. She made a mental note to remind Naruto and Sasuke of that.

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They were waiting for her in her apartment. Naruto draped himself across her couch lazily while Sasuke sat in on the floor with his Sharingan ablaze, attempting to decipher a pile of coded scrolls spread out on the coffee table. They hadn't come to see her since Naruto's explosion, but it was a small comfort to know that they were still there for her. However, them being there wasn't what she wanted at the moment.

"Don't you two have anything better to do?" She dropped her bag next to the coffee table as she passed by before heading into the bathroom. His toothbrush still resided in the cup next to the sink, his razor, his aftershave, _him._ He was still there. She stared at the life he left behind with wide eyes, tears threatening to spill over. All of a sudden, the room was too small, and she lunged for the doorknob, falling out as the door opened and landing on her hands and knees. Naruto shot up from his place on the couch and was at her side in less than half a second, worry tainting his baritone voice with panic.

"Sakura-chan!" She felt his warm hand on her back, rubbing circles as she struggled for air. She clawed at the hardwood, searching for something to ground her. "Teme, what's wrong with her!?"

She faintly heard the two arguing somewhere around her, but she was hypersensitive to the onslaught of sensations attacking her own body. Her chesthurt, growing tighter every second, and she swore she couldn't see. There was a high pitched whining that blocked out all other sound, and she folded into a child's pose, cradling her pounding head in her forearms, gripping at pulling at her hair. It was too much, and _she couldn't breathe_.

"Damnit, Naruto, move!" Sasuke's voice broke into her headspace. The hand rubbing her back disappeared, replaced with two others firmly grasping her shoulders and coaxing her upright so she was sitting on her knees. Her vision cleared to reveal Sasuke kneeling in front of her, black eyes studying her face. He held up a hand, offering her his palm. "You're alright. I've got you. Deep breaths." She grabbed his hand, trembling violently before inhaling deeply. She held it for a moment before she exhaled, Sasuke's fingers still interlaced with her own. "That's it. Keep going." In, out. In, out. In… Out. She didn't know how long they stayed like that, but after a while, the ache in her chest eased, her lungs allowing oxygen to permeate her body once again. She squeezed her eyes closed for a moment, her vision clearing as she opened them. She let go of Sasuke's hand, eyes widening at the now purple marks that intersected his pale knuckles.

"I'm sorry." She grabbed his hand to cradle it between her glowing palms, healing the bruises she left on him. "...How did you know?"

He took back his hand to inspect her work before meeting her gaze again. "I used to get them too." There was a look of understanding in his eyes, and Sakura was grateful.

"Sakura-chan? Are you ok?" She turned her head to look at Naruto, who had retreated a couple feet away from them. He looked scared to approach, like his presence would trigger her again. She nodded subtly, and he grinned in relief, canines gleaming as he relaxed. He plopped down, crossing his legs and scratching the back of his head. "Is it alright if we stay here tonight? To make sure you're alright?"

"Sorry, Naruto," she started gently, "I appreciate your concern, but I'd really like to be alone right now." There was a pang of guilt as his smile fell.

"Oh… Alright…" He rose and went into the bathroom, leaving Sakura alone with Sasuke.

"Thank you." It wasn't enough, but it was a start. She wondered how many times he had to experience what she had just gone through. He would've been alone, never letting anyone close enough to see any weakness within him.

He grunted in response, back to his usual stoicism, and Sakura rolled her eyes. Naruto emerged from her bathroom and pushed his hands awkwardly into his pockets. With a cock of his head, he beckoned Sasuke towards the door.

The pair rose and Sakura walked towards Naruto, wrapping her arms around his middle. She felt him smile against her hair as he squeezed her in return.

"I hid the things in your bathroom," he murmured to her. "They're in there, but you don't have to see them until you're ready." Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes at his consideration, and she nodded in response, burying her face into his chest. She tightened her hold on him a final time before letting him go and stepping away. Sasuke was waiting at the door for his teammate, and he nodded at Sakura before stepping out. With a wave, Naruto followed him out, leaving Sakura alone.

She wasn't ready to face the empty bed in her bedroom that was too large for her alone, so she curled up on the couch, covering herself with the blanket draped across the back. She fell asleep almost instantly, and thankfully, dreamed of nothing.

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I'm sorry for the long wait! This story is difficult for me to write, and I got stuck for a while. Just so we're clear, this isn't SasuSaku whatsoever. He just... He understands. He knows what it's like to be alone, and he tries his best to support his precious people. Thanks for reading, and I'd love comments to know what y'all think so far!


	3. Con Te Partiro

I am still alive! Adulting has been a struggle and a half and I apologize for all the delay.

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The smell of cooking beef and the sizzle of the skillet pulled Sakura enticingly from her slumber. A glint caught her eye, and she lifted her left hand to see a simple, yet elegant silver band set with a small emerald resting on her ring finger. Because it reminded him of her eyes, he said. She smiled to herself as she sat up in bed, stretching languorously before swinging her legs over the edge and tucking her feet into her slippers. She wandered into the bathroom, bathrobe over her shoulder. After a quick shower, she dressed in a black tank and comfy grey shorts and headed towards the kitchen.

She smiled warmly at the sight of the man standing by the stove, flipping the contents of a wok with surprising finesse. As she pulled down mugs for the coffee that was already brewing, she admired the broad expanse of his back, scarred but beautiful all the same. She set the cups aside and came up behind him, wrapping her arms around his middle and resting her forehead between his shoulder blades.

"Smells good." She sighed, relishing the mundane tranquility of the morning. "Didn't realize I was married to a master chef."

"Only for you, my dear." She knew he was smiling even though she couldn't see it. He was so free with her in ways that he had never been with anyone else, and her heart swelled whenever she thought about how they had given themselves to each other so fully. "We both have the day off. How would you like to spend it?"

He turned towards her with his mismatched eyes, the grin still on his face as he leaned down to kiss her. Her eyes slid shut as she pressed herself more closely to his bare torso, fingers tangling into messy locks. She felt his hands on her thighs, lifting her to his height and coaxing her legs around his waist. They didn't break apart as her ankles crossed against the small of his back and he walked them back to the bedroom. There was a voice in the back of her head reminding her that breakfast was still cooking and she had just taken a shower, but there was nothing she cared about in that moment except him. Their lips parted as he lowered her onto the bed and—

Sakura shot upright, gasping violently. It took her a moment to find her bearings: she was in her living room, alone. There was no breakfast being made, there was no man in her home, and there was no ring on her finger.

It had been almost 3 weeks since Kakashi died. She felt like it wouldn't get any easier, living like this, living without him beside her. Marriage wasn't something they had ever talked about, but they both knew there was no one else.

She and Sasuke had tried briefly, after everything that had happened, but they couldn't get past the pain he had caused her, and they let each other go bittersweetly. As friends, they functioned better, trusting and loving without the expectation for more. Kakashi had always cared for the village more than he cared for himself, and though they never discussed it, Sakura knew that settling down scared him more than anything. There was no pressure, just mutual understanding that they were it, and that was okay.

She pulled the blanket tighter around herself, attempting to calm her breathing when there was a gentle knock on the door. After staring at it wearily for a moment, she hauled herself off the couch, taking the blanket with her.

"Sakura-chan? Are you awake yet?"

Only three people called her that. One was dead as of three weeks, one was an extremely timid, Byakugan-wielding clan heiress, and the third… Sakura sighed wearily, unsure of whether or not she'd be able to handle Naruto's boundless energy and enthusiasm today. She shuffled towards the door slowly, taking the blanket with her, no longer caring that part of it was dragging behind across the floor. She hesitated before opening it, weighing her options before remembering that he could probably feel her chakra and there was no hope in pretending she was still asleep anyways.

For the first time in weeks, Naruto wasn't wearing his ANBU uniform, but looking at him now, she would've honestly preferred it. His all-black ensemble reminded her of the last funeral they had attended four years ago, honoring all those they had lost in the war. She could tell these clothes were new, that he hadn't pulled them out of their wrappings until today. There hadn't been a reason to, until Kakashi had given them one.

Sakura looked up into Naruto's eyes, darker and cloudier than usual. He gave her a sad smile before proffering the two paper bags in his arms. "I saw that you didn't have food yesterday. It's not all ramen, I promise."

She didn't reply, but stepped back to let the man into the apartment. She followed him back into her kitchen where he began unloading the bags, babbling mindlessly about something Sakura wasn't really paying attention to. She watched him walk back and forth across the room as he put things in places they didn't belong, but she let him humor himself. Combing her fingers through a tangled nest of pink locks, she glanced at the clock on the wall.

Thinking back to how he acted in the hospital, it frightened her to realize how close he was to giving up on her, just like she had given up on herself. She didn't even care at the time, but having him here now, she knew that she could not have survived without Naruto and his vibrancy. If he had truly walked away from her that day, she would have died in that hospital room.

"I should…" Sakura interrupted Naruto mid-sentence. He paused in his efforts to find a place for the apples and looked at her. "I should get ready for today."

Naruto pursed his lips, unsure. "Did you want me to leave?"

"No, it's alright. Do you think you could wait for me?" The smile he gave her as she turned away didn't quite reach his eyes, but she let it be as she padded to her room to get ready. Digging out her mourning clothes from the back of her closet and laying them out on the bed, she sat next to them and ran her fingers over the soft material.

She fought the tears that welled in her eyes, letting a single drop fall before steeling herself. Moving to the bathroom, she glared at her haggard reflection.

Listen, Haruno. You're going to get through today. You're not going to cry in front of all of those people. You're going to keep your shit together until they're gone, then you can cry all you want.

Sakura healed the dark circles under her eyes and tugged a brush through the rat's nest of hair. After splashing water on her face, she pulled on the black uniform and met Naruto back in the kitchen. He sat at the kitchen table, staring blankly at his hands folded in front of him.

"Naruto?" She called. "Are you alright?"

He started at the sound of her voice. In an instant, the sunny smile was back into place, and it was then that Sakura remembered that ninjas wore all kinds of masks.

How could she be so selfish? She wasn't the only one that was hurting. Overwhelmed by her own pain, she failed to see that Naruto and Sasuke had lost a mentor. Genma, Yamato, and Shizune had lost a friend.

"You ready to go?"

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As the late setting sun sunk down behind the Great Stone Faces, it bathed his picture on the altar in warm orange light. Sakura stood near the front between Naruto and Genma, a single stem of gillyflower between her clasped hands.

Not many people knew this, but this was Kakashi's favorite time of day. If he was in town, he liked to watch as the bustle of the village wound down and people settled in for the night. He would sit on a rooftop with his book open until it was too dark to fake reading anymore. Sometimes he hopped off to join whoever was off-duty at the bar for a drink and light conversation. Sometimes he went home, tending to his pack and enjoying a quiet night by himself. As time went on, his most popular choice became to swing by the hospital and wait just outside the gates for Sakura to get off of work. They'd walk together to either his place or hers, and spend the rest of the night basking in each other's presence.

The whispers behind her pulled Sakura out of her mind.

"Why did they wait this long for the funeral? It should have been weeks ago."

"Didn't you hear? Haruno-san was his mission partner. I think it was for her."

"Why? They're just partners."

"Ha, yeah right… But Tsunade-sama insisted. The council was so angry, calling it disrespectful because Kakashi-san was so famous. Darui-sama had rushed over as soon as he heard, and they made him wait! Can you believe it? The Raikage came all the way here and- "

Sakura turned her head towards the voices, just enough to see them out of the corner of her eye. The chuunin girls flinched at her cold stare and fell silent immediately.

Her eyes floated over to the man standing in the row in front of her, a little ways to the right. No one had known about the relation between him and Kakashi until he showed up in her hospital room a few days prior, holding a portrait of a man with a silver ponytail and a kind smile. Turns out both of the Hatake men were rather full of secrets.

Genma's hand grazing her own brought her attention back to the front where Tsunade stood at the podium before the crowd. With a subtle nod, she beckoned Sakura forward. Her legs were shaky, but managed to carry her until she was standing before the altar, staring down at his picture.

She didn't know where they had gotten it. Regulation required that ninja have their full face visible for their identification files, and Sakura knew for a fact that Kakashi's sharp jawline and slightly crooked nose were on display in that inconspicuous manila folder. The corner of her lips quirked upwards. That sweet talker probably got the photographer to take two for this very purpose.

"Sakura?" Tsunade placed a hand on her apprentice's shoulder. It felt like a lead weight.

Pursing her chapped lips, Sakura stepped forward and placed the first flower right below his picture. She traced the flat outline of his cheek with a finger before retreating and allowing her teammates to say their own goodbyes.

The rest of the funeral was little more than a buzzing in her ears. People came up to speak about him, the man they thought he was. Aloof, laid back, fierce in battle, loyal to his village, loyal to his teammates, loyal to the mission. He was uncompromising in his loyalties, but in the end, it was his loyalty to her that got him killed.

And then it was over. People drifted away in groups, back to their lives. She could never go back to hers. It was buried there in the ground with him.

"Sakura-san."

She turned to the Raikage looking down on her with furrowed brows. "Raikage-sama."

He looked past her, over to Kakashi's picture on the altar before walking up to it, his security detail lingering a couple meters away. "I'm sorry for your loss."

Unmoving from her spot, she nodded. "You as well. I'm sorry you two didn't get to know each other in the way you deserved."

He hummed, contemplative. It was another moment before he turned and brushed back past her. She watched him lift a hand in goodbye. "I hope we meet again, Sakura-san. Take care of yourself. Ja ne."

Her lips quirked at the familiar phrase. Though he didn't see her, she bowed politely. "Same to you, Raikage-sama. Have a safe journey home."

* * *

Thank you so much for sticking it out with me so far. I give no promises as to when I can next update, but know that I appreciate your reads and reviews more than you could ever know. :3


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